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Making a difference

Being a journalist requires you to have thick skin. Occasionally people won’t like what you write. Often an editor will chew up some of your sentences. Sources can be rude. Politicians dodge questions. It all just comes with the territory. But at the end of the day, you know you’ve uncovered a truth, righted a wrong or maybe just given a really cool person his or her day in the sun.

 

That “higher calling” and the desire to make a difference is what drives most journalists to do what they do. It’s certainly not the pay and the hours. As I have refocused my professional life back toward more writing I am reminded of just how much I love it. The last few weeks I’ve so enjoyed doing interviews and writing articles. I’ve done some editing and am overseeing a Charleston visitor publication. The work has been keeping me busy and the deadlines are always looming but it’s that good kind of hectic stress gives your day meaning and zest.

 

Last week my first article for the local paper, The Post and Courier, was published in the Moxie section, which focuses on women and women’s issues. The piece was about Karen St. Marie, a woman who has devoted her life’s work to her grown son and his epilepsy. She’s formed a nonprofit organization to provide support to families and caregivers. Her story was so inspiring.

 

When the article appeared, I received lots of nice compliments and an incredibly sweet note from Karen. She thanked me for the “fabulous” article and wrote, “You did a great job making the public aware of what we go through and how it affects epilepsy patients on a daily basis. I really appreciate your desire to help us raise awareness.”

 

And that’s why I do this kind of work.

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All vacations are not alike

I learned something on our family vacation last month: Family vacations really aren’t all that relaxing.

 

The week after Thanksgiving, we boarded the Carnival Fantasy for a five-day cruise to the Bahamas. We spent a day at the Atlantis resort in Nassau where Kate enjoyed the pools and beach areas, Clint rode the lazy river and we photographed a giant stingray in the aquarium.

 

We petted dolphins at Freeport and rode a boat through water so blue it didn’t even look real. Kate had a ball at Camp Carnival, a drop-off program for the kids. Clint and I enjoyed an evening alone in the dining room, and I squeezed in a little time to read and take a nap.

 

Did we have a nice time? Yes. Would I classify it as a relaxing, stress-free, recharge-your-batteries kind of vacation? No.

 

This was our first real family vacation – not counting trips to visit family or an overnight in North Carolina – and traveling with a 3 year old comes with some stresses. Now, before you call the Parent Police, I’m not saying family vacations are bad, but they are different. It’s why you should take two vacations a year – one as a family and one with just you and your spouse. They are two completely different experiences.

 

Just a couple weeks before our vacation, I’d spent a few days home alone while Clint and Kate visited his family in Arkansas. This was the opposite of a family vacation. It was a vacation from the family and allowed me more time to relax. There’s just something about not having to be responsible for anyone but yourself that is quite freeing.

 

I have no doubt there will be another family vacation soon. Kate’s at the age where a visit to Disney is on the short list. Will it be fun? Yes. Will it be stress-free? No. But that’s OK. I’ve learned what these various types of vacations mean and I need them all in my life. Plus, I have my eye on that trip to Hawaii – just the two of us.

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From ‘relaxed’ to ‘rushed’

Before they have kids, women described shopping as “relaxed,” “impulsive” and “social.” After having kids, women describe shopping as “rushed,” “stressful” and “overwhelming.” — AdAge.com | 3 November 2011

 

Um, yes, pretty sure that describes just about every experience before and after having kids, not just shopping.

 

 

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Go boldly

When I launched HAF Creative, my friend and mentor Jane sent me this quote:

 

“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
~Goethe

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New opportunities begin today

Today begins a new venture: I’m back to working for myself. Last month, I decided to transition back to full-time freelance work. The reasons were numerous, but high on the list is the ability to better manage my schedule so I can work on the book about postpartum depression I’ve been attempting to write for the better part of 2011. I haven’t had much time to devote to the book, so I haven’t gotten far in the process.

 

I’m starting to put together a weekly schedule that incorporates regular writing and research times and allow myself to make that work – even though it’s not paying – a priority. I’ll also be doing more freelance writing and editing projects as well as continuing to manage a couple of clients for Step Ahead.

 

Plus, I’ve decided to officially create my own company, a sole propriotership called HAF Creative. Look for a new website coming soon. I have to schedule some time to open a bank account and get my finances set up. There’s more record keeping when you have your own business (tracking your expenses, making quarterly tax payments) but the personal benefits will be great and the commute is quite short and there’s never any traffic.

 

I’ll also be moving this blog and past posts over to my new website and keeping it updated more regularly as a way build excitement about the book and share my regular witty musings. Stay tuned!

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Watch me

Last week someone shared this on Facebook, and I thought it was fabulous … especially after my recent CrossFit escapades. 🙂

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Just when you think you can’t … you can

Like a fish out of water I competed in an athletic competition a few days ago. Aside from tee-ball (which I hated), pee-wee basketball (which I hated), pee-wee cheerleading (which was OK but I wasn’t very good) and plain ‘ol gym class (which I loathed), I haven’t had much experience as an athlete. OK, really I’ve had no experience.

 

So two years ago if someone had told me I was going to compete in something called Integrity’s Revenge – part of the Garage GamesCrossFit series – where I would run through a series of workouts in front of other people, I would have fallen on the floor laughing.

 

But last weekend, that’s just what I did.

 

I competed with several other athletes from our facility, CrossFit Mt. Pleasant. I partnered up with another woman and we entered the scaled team division. Let me pause here and explain CrossFit: It’s a fitnessprogram that focuses on constantly varied, high-intensity, functional movements. Workouts are short and intense, changing each day with such activities as weightlifting, pull-ups, pushups, sit-ups, running,rowing and jumping rope.

 

 

I started CrossFit about 14 months ago and have seen pretty amazing results – both physically and mentally as I’ve challenged myself to do things I never dreamed I could (a pullup or deadlift 170 pounds).

 

CrossFit athletes compete in the GarageGames or regional competitions around the country. The elite athletes go on to compete in the CrossFit Games, sort of the Olympics of CrossFit.

 

One of the great things about CrossFit is that movements can be scaled to your individual fitness level and abilities.So when you start, you’re not expected to throw 65 pounds of weight over your head. Maybe you start with 10 or 20 and continue to work your way up. That means workouts come in two versions: “Rx” or the prescribed way they should be done and a scaled version for those who are still working their way up to the Rx level.

 

For this competition, my partner and I did the team scaled division. We did three workouts on Saturday and one on Sunday morning. My body definitely felt it on Monday morning.

 

How did I do? Well, I competed. The first workout was incredibly difficult for me because it involved front squats of 65 pounds and then a movement called the “thruster,” which is squatting with the weight and then quickly standing up and pushing the weight (still 65 pounds) over your head. Squatting with heavy weights is by far one of my weaker areas so I was pretty terrified when I saw this workout. My stomach was in a knot the size the Texas as I approached that weight bar.

 

Let’s just say I struggled and ended with lots of people cheering me on. I didn’t complete the workout in the allotted 12 minutes and kept my teammate from getting her turn. When time was up, I felt teary and embarrassed. But one of the great things about CrossFit is the sense of community. The people I work out with on a daily basis are my CrossFit family and they were pulling for me. The people I’d never met were pulling for me. You see in CrossFit it’s all about pushing through. When the workout is hard and you’re tempted to toss down the weight and walk away, you keep on.

 

A couple of times I looked at my teammate and the judge saying, “I can’t do this.” But then I turned back to the weight and tried again. At the end of the workout, that was what mattered.

 

Clint – who also competed – was there cheering me on with our daughter Kate. He said she was watching every bit of my struggle, while saying “Go, Mama, go!” Later we discussed that it’s good for her to see me incorporate working out into my daily life but also to struggle with something and push through – especially something people might look at and think isn’t really a “woman’s sport.”

 

The remaining workouts were challenging but not to the same degree. I was able to finish those and didn’t do too terribly.

 

When the weekend was over, I felt a mixture of pride and disappointment. I couldn’t help but wish I’d done a little better, but then I think about where I’ve come over the last year. I was one of those people who started out lifting 10 and 15 pounds, so to even attempt 65 is pretty awesome. I’ll keep working on my skills, building my strength, stamina and endurance and just maybe you’ll see me at the Garage Games next year.

 

So, what did you do this weekend? : )

The CrossFit Mt. Pleasant Team
The CrossFit Fishers

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Phrases I say every day – at least 3 times

As a parent, I often feel like a broken record, repeating the same instructions over and over again. So, if I had a dollar for every time I said one of the following, Kate’s college fund would be overflowing:

  • Stay on the sidewalk; don’t get out in street. 
  • Watch where you’re going … you’re running into people. 
  • Don’t run off … stay close. 
  • You have to hold my hand when we cross the street/walk in the parking lot. 
  • Sit down in your chair before you fall over. 
  • Put your shoes and socks away. 
  • Get your finger out of your nose.
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    Book Update

    I’m making some small steps on my book. I created a schedule of to-dos that focuses on drafting a chapter list and descriptions, completing market research and writhing things like the dusk jacket author bio. The good news is there aren’t many books out there on postpartum depression, particularly in the Christian publishing world. If you know of any, send them my way. I hope the lack of books on this topic will make it a bit easier to get my own book published while filling a need.

    So, hold me accountable because these various items are due Aug. 12. After that, I’ll work on getting an agent and actually putting together some chapters (which now consist of a hodge-podge of notes and musings).

    Note, the photo is the cover of the notebook I’m using to track ideas, notes, tasks, etc. for my book so look for that image in book updates. (And thanks, Ronda, for the fabulous notebook!) 

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    A Fitting Farewell

    I couldn’t help but feel a little envious when I read a column in today’s newspaper. It was by long-time newspaperman Ken Burger, who is retiring from the local paper, The Post and Courier. His farewell column published today.  In it, he describes his first experience with the newspaper world and the intoxicating feel of the newsroom.
    He shares some of the people he’s met – both famous and not – and some of the moments he’s captured – both monumental and not. He says, for him, the newspaper business was “love at first sight.” It was for me too, Ken. Oh how I loved the hum of a newspaper – the click of keyboards, the ringing of phones, the crackle of the police scanner. I loved seeing my byline in print, knowing I was part of something important and feeling that I was making a difference.
    Journalists share a sense of duty, a belief they have been called to be the watchdogs of the world, the messengers of information and the voice of the voiceless.
    Burger spent 40 years in the news business. I spent just 10 before the world turned the newspaper business on its ear. The newspaper world I dreamed of doesn’t really exist anymore and it’s sad. People like Ken Burger are a dying breed and even those of us who longed to write a farewell column after 40 or more years in the industry have found there’s not a place for us.   
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    Oprah’s lesson

    Photo/Oprah.com

    It may sound cliché, but Oprah has always been one of those “people I’d like to meet” – right up there with Dolly Parton, Reese Witherspoon and a whole host of country music performers. As the world watched Oprah’s last show, we’ve seen the many ways Oprah has impacted lives and the amazing reach of her influence.

    Because it was on at 4 p.m., I wasn’t a regular Oprah viewer, really only catching episodes when I was home sick, home with a newborn or working from home and needed a 10-minute break. Yet, I have followed her career and I respect Oprah immensely. I admire anyone who can overcome difficult circumstances to make something of herself. So many people blame their troubles on a rough childhood, growing up without a father, poverty or a lack of role models in their immediate family. Do circumstances make a difference? Of course. They may make your life’s road a little more bumpy or silky smooth, but the course is still yours to take.
    I read this quote from Oprah in the May issue of “O” magazine as she summed up what she says is the essence of what she’s tried to say with the show over 25 years:

    You are not the product of your circumstances. You are a composite of all the things you believe, and all the places you believe you can go. Your past does not define you. You can step out of your history and create a new day for yourself. Even if the entire culture is saying, “You can’t.” Even if every single possible bad thing that can happen to you does. You can keep going forward.

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    Daring to ask God for the impossible

    I recently completed the book “Sun Stand Still” by Steven Furtick. Go get a copy…now. It’s a tremendous book that spoke to me at just the right time. Furtick is a pastor in Charlotte who has preached at our church a few times. He’s a young guy with a great message and a passion for God. I love hearing him speak and when they sold his book at our church, I snatched up a copy. But like so many of the books I buy, it sat on the nightstand for months.
    So when I started a women’s study at my church earlier this year, and one of the classes was studying this book, I knew I had to join that group. The premise of the book is “what happens when you dare to ask God for the impossible.” It’s about asking God to do something really big in your life – something audacious and seemingly impossible.
    For the last year or so, I’ve been chipping away at an idea for a book on postpartum depression. I felt maybe I could help others who had gone through PPD and that surely my suffering with that illness could have a larger purpose. I have only found one book on PPD that takes a Christian perspective so I thought there could be a market for this kind of resource.
    During one of the first group sessions, we shared our visions. I was hesitant to share mine, but did. Several women in the group nodded in understanding when I said I’d suffered from PPD and then talked about my desire to write a book on the experience.
    A young mother approached me the next week and told me her feelings of PPD and a few days later we met for coffee. She encouraged me to work on the book and offered her support. We shared our experiences with PPD. I love when God lines up experiences, putting us in just the right place at just the right time with just the right people.
    I’ve been struggling with finding the time to work on the book. In truth, I think it may be less about making the time and more about the fear of such an undertaking. But I’ve finished reading the last couple chapters of “Sun Stand Still” and continue to believe this is God’s desire for me, so I’m renewing my commitment to this project and carving out some dedicated time to work on it. So, hold me accountable on my progress. Give me a nudge. Say a prayer for me. Here I go …. 
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    Our tiny dancer

    We enrolled Kate in dance classes in February and she had her first recital on May 15. She did a great job remembering her dance steps and didn’t seem a bit afraid of performing. Clint and I were so proud!