Father’s Day lessons

Last night at church, the pastor begins his Father’s Day-themed message asking “What did your father give you?” My initial thought was, “Absolutely nothing.”

My parents divorced when I was about 7 years old and my father didn’t have an active role in our lives. If I heard from him on Christmas and my birthday, it was a good year. So while many people can credit their dads for giving them a Christian foundation, a sense of humor, self-esteem or support, I can’t claim those same values from my dad.

But as I thought more about the pastor’s question, I realized maybe the answer wasn’t a big, fat nothing. I had actually learned a thing or two from my dad and he probably never even realized it.

From my dad, I learned:

• To be independent. I wasn’t so sure men were particularly reliable and I figured it was best to make my own way in this world and not find myself beholden to anyone else.
• What would make a great husband and father. I looked at what I had – and didn’t have – and knew I wanted something different. I’m grateful I knew to choose a husband.
• Circumstances don’t have to define you. Based on statistics alone, girls who grew up without active fathers are more likely to get into trouble, get pregnant as teenagers, have low self-esteem and so on. Don’t be a statistic. Don’t let your past define your future.
• I do have a heavenly Father who can fill any void left by an earthy father. He won’t leave me.

So it may not be the traditional way to glean lessons from a father, but I think they’re important lessons nonetheless and I’m grateful for them.