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Happy highlights from a hard year

Welcome, 2021! Has a new year ever received such global fanfare? We thought we were excited about 2020 and then … 

I don’t want to gloss over the challenges of the last year. We all faced tough times — some certainly more significant and life-altering than others. Even with what my own family went through, we came out of 2020 relatively unscathed and, for that, I am grateful. 

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t call out some of the simple pleasures, moments of growth and silver linings that bubbled up from the last several months. It’s tempting to rush out of 2020 and into 2021, declaring we will never look back at that year. But how can we not? It was a year that tested us. It was also a year that taught us. Or at least it taught me a thing or two. 

So, I share with you my 2020 highlights. Here’s my top 10 list (in random order): 

Family Time. If you felt like your family was scurrying in a million different directions, 2020 put a stop to that. Suddenly, we were home. And home … and home. Our forced togetherness allowed us the chance to enjoy each other’s company. As stay-at-home orders stretched from a couple weeks into a couple months, our family embraced evening walks through the neighborhood (quarantine walks), hanging out on the back porch with “porch snacks” of cheese and crackers as well as Friday movie nights (so many 1980s classics!). The unrushed pace opened up time to talk, hang out and just be together. 

The Memes. OK, let’s be real: those quarantine memes were the laugh break we all needed. Some of them were seriously LOL worthy. 

Reading. I’ve always been a reader, but my 2019 schedule in particular hadn’t given me much time for reading. Behold: 2020. I read 28 books. (My goal for 2021: 36 books. Totally doable!) Bonus: I also finished reading the entire Bible in 2020. I started one of those “read the Bible in a year” plans at the beginning of 2018. Sure, it took me 2 ½ years, but I did it! 

Active With Holly. One of things I missed after closing our CrossFit gym was the chance to inspire others to live a healthy and active life. In September, I decided to become an independent rep for Zyia Active, a line of activewear for women, men and kids. I created a Facebook Group and Instagram account under @ActivewithHolly where I could talk about new Zyia products but also share healthy recipes, meal planning tips, fitness info and general inspiration for active and healthy living. 

Work. Fortunately, much of my business was virtual pre-COVID and I already worked at home. I’m grateful marketing clients kept rolling in and I was able to forge new professional partnerships with fellow StoryBrand Guides. I even had time to rebrand Fisher Creative with a new logo and website refresh. I increased my social media presence and was able to do a few virtual speaking gigs and podcast interviews. 

Rest + Recharge. I’ve never been that great at resting. I’m a doer so too much rest time feels wasteful. But I also know we need rest. We need time to relax, recharge and simply do nothing. I began to embrace rest in 2020. I wouldn’t say 100% there quite yet, but I have made great strides. 

Health. I’ve always been grateful for good health, but this year in particular, I appreciated being healthy.  

Faith. What could we do in 2020 but put our trust in Jesus. It was tough not to worry. I remember watching the evening news in March and April, thinking, “We’re all going to die.” But I dug deep this year. I read God’s word. I prayed. I wrote in my prayer journal. And I believe my faith was strengthened. 

Husband. In July, Clint and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. We canceled our trip to Asheville, N.C., as COVID cases spiked in mid-July. But that didn’t stop us from marking the day and reflecting on the past two decades. Bonus: We made it to Asheville in November for a mini-vacation. (Side note: we have spent a lot of time together in the last few months and haven’t killed each other!)

Technology. Can you imagine quarantining in 1993? I am grateful for technology that allowed us to work and school from home as well as stay connected to friends and family. The virtual coffees with friends and colleagues were truly life giving. 

That’s my 2020 highlight reel. What glimmers of goodness did you uncover?

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Moving past the loss of 2020 and into a rebuilding year

On Tuesday, I picked out two sympathy cards.

You read that right: Two.

One for each wife who had lost her husband on Monday. Both were precious friends. 

I met Tom years ago when I was serving on the national board of directors for the Society of Professional Journalist. I traveled around the South in my role as regional director, meeting fellow journalists along the way. Tom and his wife Lorraine became dear friends, even hosting me at their home in Atlanta. They were accomplished and dedicated journalists. Several years ago they retired to North Carolina but we stayed in touch. 

Our friend Andy lost his fight with pancreatic cancer. At age 51, his life was cut short much too soon. Andy’s wife Audra moved to Charleston more than a decade ago. Through a mutual friend she ended up staying in my guest room for a few weeks as she got settled. At the time, Kate was 2 years old, and Clint was working in Africa for 11 months. Audra was a gift from God as I struggled to work, chase after a toddler, recover from postpartum depression — all while missing my husband desperately. 

Andy joined Audra in Charleston a few weeks later. He quickly became Uncle Andy to Kate. The two of them were family. 

So, I’m coming into the last week of the year with a heavy heart. But, then, let’s be real. This whole year has had a heaviness to it. 

These losses came at the end of year of so many losses. We all lost in 2020. Lives were lost to COVID — certainly the greatest of all losses. Others lost businesses, jobs, income. Clint and I closed up our CrossFit gym so we understand that loss. 

Celebrations, milestone moments and bucket list trips — lost to a virus that gripped our world. Our nation faced political tension, racial divide and social unrest — a loss of unity and hope. 

It’s tempting to bid 2020 a big, fat farewell. It was the year that overstayed its welcome. 

Among the loss, grief, stress and plain old exhaustion of this year, can we dig some good from the rubble? 

This made the rounds on social media and really resonated with me.

I’ve decided 2021 will be a rebuilding year. You know, like sports teams have when they get a new coach. They don’t expect a lot from that year. They use it as an opportunity to renew their focus, get their heads on straight and train for what will surely be a monumental next season. I think we need to rebuild and regroup after the losing season of 2020.

This year I read the book “Chasing Vines” by Beth Moore. One of the lines from the book is “Your growing comes in shrinking.” For me, 2020 was a year of “shrinking.” It was a year of stepping away and figuring out how I should spend my time and energy. It opened my eyes to the importance of rest, narrowing my focus and deepening my faith. 

So much of our lives shrunk in 2020. That’s not exactly a bad thing. Remember, out of our shrinking comes future growth. We shrink, we rebuild, and we approach the next season with a winning attitude. 

That is my hope and prayer. 

Yes, we should mourn the losses of 2020 — a business, precious friends, anticipated events. Feel the grief. Shed the tears. 

And then step into 2021 ready to rebuild.  

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What if we didn’t return to ‘normal’?

When the intensity of the coronavirus hit in mid-March, I was – like everyone – consumed with questions. Was I truly at risk? How bad was this really? How long would this last? 

Then came the closures and cancellations. No in-person school. Client fundraisers and community events canceled or postponed. Networking events scratched from the calendar. Coffee dates and social events put on hold. 

I’ll be honest, clearing my calendar down to well, practically nothing, was freeing. I tend to live at warp speed, flying so fast through my life that days are often little more than a blurry mess. I like being busy, but there’s busy and then there’s BUSY. Despite my best efforts to figure out better ways to build in rest, more family time and a few minutes each week to catch my breath, I wasn’t successful. I had vowed that 2020 would be different. It would be different all right. 

I hit “delete, delete, delete” on appointments, meetings, networking and educational events. My commute time to and from activities, taking my daughter to and from school, driving to and from our CrossFit gym was no longer an issue. 

The first weekend of this quarantine time was the most restful weekend I’d had in, well, years. In the weekends to follow, I cleaned out some closets and drawers. We had Friday night pizza and watched “quarantine classic” movies like “Karate Kid” and the “Back to the Future” trilogy. We’ve taken family walks in the afternoon. Kate and I watched Hallmark mystery movies (our favorite) and chatted on the back porch. I even did a long overdue photo book from a family vacation to Yellowstone back in 2018. I was tackling my stack of books to read.

I wasn’t ending each week stressed about all the tasks I hadn’t checked off my list. I didn’t feel pressured to spend hours working on Saturday or Sunday. 

What was this? Aside from missing my friends, favorite springtime activities, a haircut and a leisurely trip to Target, maybe this quarantine life wasn’t so bad. I could get used to this. 

Coffee on the porch with Belle

In fact, I’m writing this blog post while sitting on my back porch with a cup of coffee. I hadn’t carved out time for personal writing in eons. 

As we approach the end of April, our state and our country look at ways to open businesses and relax stay-at-home restrictions. Everyone is talking about “getting back to normal.” 

But what if I don’t want to go back to “normal”?

I’ve tasted a more relaxed lifestyle and I’m hooked. Jump back on that relentless hamster wheel? Hard pass. 

Now, I’m not saying we don’t need to restart the economy. My family owns a fitness facility that’s been closed since mid-March. I don’t take lightly the incredible impact this has had on businesses, especially our small, local businesses. I don’t minimize the lives lost or the health care workers putting themselves in harm’s way each day. 

Even as we resume economic activity, what if we took some personal lessons from this experience? 

Within the first couple weeks of staying at home, I was already thinking about how my life could be different. In early April, a webinar hosted by She Works HIS Way addressed this very topic. Somer Phoebus challenged us to “quarantine clarity” and to consider how we might use this experience as a learning opportunity. 

She shared this verse from 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (NIV)

This doesn’t mean we simply Netflix and chill 24/7, but that we use our time well and wisely, Somer said. We should focus on what we were created to do, instead of rushing to complicate our lives with more and more and more. 

She cautioned us not to let this opportunity pass us by. Don’t go back to the craziness. 

Anyone else out there guilty of packing their schedules too tightly? Anyone else trying to do too much? Yep, me too. 

I’m a doer. I’m an achiever. I don’t always rest well. If you have a similar personality, it doesn’t mean we aren’t capable of a less complicated life. It just means we have to be more intentional with our time and how we spend it. We doers are quick to say “yes.” We hustle. We strive. 

There’s nothing wrong with hard work or striving to be better. But at what cost? 

Rest doesn’t mean you’re lazy. Rest isn’t a sign of weakness. Jesus took time to rest and, my goodness, I don’t think we would ever consider him lazy or weak. 

The last few weeks have been filled with moments of uncertainty, stress and worry. We’ve all felt it. But this time also has been filled with reflection. I’ve soaked up extra quiet time in the mornings, reading my Bible and journaling. 

As we move into a life outside the four walls of our home, may we not slide back into old habits. I pray the positive changes in our personal and family lives and our schedules stick. 

Let my ambition be to lead a quiet life, one lived with intention and focus on what my main purpose. As for the rest? I think I’ll put those old ways into permanent quarantine.