Holly Ann Fisher

This week I’ve been saying lots of extra prayers for Terry Harper, who has been a terrific executive director of the Society of Professional Journalists. Terry joined the Society as ED just after I joined the national board. I worked with him for six years while I served as a regional director. Terry has been battling a brain tumor and the latest news is not good. You can read more about Terry’s journey on his blog. I believe in a God who can work miracles, so I continue to pray for one, as well as for peace and comfort for Terry, his wife and their two sons.

In the last month, I’ve finally started to think I might actually make it. Getting laid off last fall was a devastating blow. At the time, I had plenty of friends – many of whom had been laid off themselves at some point – tell me they were certain things would work out for the better.

The logical part of my brain knew they were right. God would provide. I would find more work. I would survive. The emotional part of my brain just couldn’t comprehend such a concept. I was sure I’d hit a professional rock bottom with no hope of a lifeline.

My decision to pursue work as a self-employed freelancer seemed the only choice at the time, although a part of me wondered if I were dooming my family to a financial mess. But the work came in – a job here, a job there … then steady contract work and some more assignments.

And now I find myself busy, busy, busy. This summer, I’m planning to form my own official company and I just might make more money this year working for myself than I did last year working for someone else. And the good news is I won’t lay me off because of the economy and I will appreciate all my hard work and effort.

I’m grateful to the people who have given me work, referrals, recommendations and encouragement over the last several months. Thank you for having faith in me when I was having a hard time having faith in myself.

So, today was the big 33. It was a pretty uneventful day. Although, I did take a nap and watch a little TV.

And, I played in my flowers, which is always fun. Here is a photo of my container gardens. I decided to combine some herbs, annuals and my strawberry and tomato plants into larger pots for the backyard. I’m hoping they will thrive in the added sunlight.

I was really excited to be a recent guest blogger for The Organizing Mama, Stacey Crew. She has a great Web site and blog. I wrote about raising a green child and my efforts to make my home and family more environmentally friendly.

I consider myself pretty green. I recycle paper, plastics, glass and batteries. I don’t print too many documents and use both sides of the paper when I do. I rarely buy bottled water and reuse gift bags and ribbons. I think I finally have gotten into the habit of carrying my reusable bags into the grocery store. And I donate to thrift stores instead of tossing perfectly good clothing or household items in the trash.

Read more at The Organizing Mama Blog.

Do you ever find yourself in a situation and it’s as if you’re watching yourself from the corner of the room? I had one of those moments yesterday. I was doing something I swore I would never do.

It was nothing crazy or illegal, mind you, it was just one of those things you never see yourself doing. It was something I’d mocked in the past and suddenly, there I was – part of the group I’d scoffed.

It doesn’t really matter what the situation was because I think we all have those experiences. For some, it might actually be something crazy or illegal, but for many of us it simply represents a shift, a change in who we are and what we wanted to – or didn’t want to – become.

And the me that was watching from the corner said quietly, “Never say never.”

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who jumped on her library soapbox after reading a column in our local newspaper. The comments I sent to the writer — and comments from several other people — were included in a follow up. Check out “Readers roar for increases in library funding.”

On Tuesday morning, while sipping coffee and feeding Katherine her breakfast, I read a column in the “Family” section of the local newspaper. I was immediately drawn by the headline: “Encourage learning by funding libraries.”

Local columnist Jennifer Berry Hawes writes about the joy of bringing home an armload of treasures from the library: “I gaze with great satisfaction at my library booty on the couch: books galore, a book on tape, DVDs and a CD of kids’ music.”

It’s easy to take for granted all the library offers – and for free. It’s an amazing service. But in this current economic crunch time, libraries are at a crossroads.

As Jennifer’s column points out and as I’ve read about locally and nationally, libraries are busy places these days. Unemployed workers are using the free computers and Internet access to update resumes, search for jobs or submit electronic applications. People who are dropping NetFlix to save a few bucks find they can check out DVDs at the library for free. Avid readers who might have bought the latest John Grisham novel at Barnes & Noble are checking it out from the library and saving $20. America is rediscovering the joy of libraries.

While we should be celebrating one of our greatest public services, government budget cutbacks are hindering libraries’ progress.

Jennifer’s column points out a survey from the American Library Association, which “found that South Carolina libraries might see a 30 percent cut in state aid.”

Ouch.

So this week I’ve been thinking about libraries. I have loved books since I was born and was the kind of child who preferred reading on the couch to playing outdoors. When I was in elementary school, we went to the school library once a week. I would make a mad dash for the shelves holding the glorious mysteries of Nancy Drew. I would snatch up the latest issue of Ranger Rick magazine, reading the entire magazine overnight because it had to be returned the next day.

As a teenager, I would go to our small public library and get lost in the shelves, sucked into some other world of mystery or romance. To this day, every time I walk into a library, I breathe deeply, taking in that distinct library book smell that has the power to make your imagination come alive.

Now, as a mother, I daily read to Katherine. I take her to the local library, and even though she’s only 1, I’m doing my best to teach her books and libraries should be cherished.

I was so inspired I e-mailed Jennifer Berry Hawes telling her how much I appreciated her column. She had, somewhat in jest, mentioned a Save the Libraries bumper sticker campaign. I eagerly volunteered to help with any such effort.

I received a great e-mail response from Jennifer, who had heard from other library enthusiasts also eager to help. I plan to contact the local library and see what I can do.

If you haven’t been to your local library lately, stop by for a visit. Wander among the shelves, take in story time with your child, check out a movie or pick up the latest bestseller. I guarantee you’ll find our libraries are worth saving.

He had made everything beautiful in its time. Ecclesiastes 3:11

On my recent post “What if?” reader Julie posted a comment and a question that has been on my mind almost daily:

I love the idea of new dreams; it’s retiring the old ones that really challenge me. I have such a hard time letting go and leaving behind those things that are such a part of me. Any suggestions on really letting go?

Don’t think I’ve been ignoring your question, Julie, it’s just that I have been trying to think of a really great answer. I keep coming back to this idea of really letting go and I’m not sure it’s possible to truly let go of the dreams, as Julie puts it, “that are such a part of me.”

Sometimes our dreams just change with time or they simply fade away as new dreams consume our focus. In college, I dreamed of being an overseas correspondent, working as a reporter in a Spanish-speaking country. With time that dream was replaced with a new dream of being a political reporter, eventually covering state or federal government. At some point along the way, life intervened and that dream sort of just faded into my memory.

And some dreams are just plain fun and border on completely unrealistic. I dream of being a country music star. Crazy and most likely impossible? Definitely. But that doesn’t keep me from dreaming about singing a duet with George Strait.

Seriously, though, I think the longer we’ve had a dream the harder it is to let go. It has become a part of who we are and it’s difficult to simply cast that dream aside. And, quite frankly I’m not sure we should. It would be like denying a part of ourselves.

If we reach a point where it is time to retire a dream, I think the best thing to do is file it away. Don’t deny it. Don’t forget all about it. Don’t pretend it never existed. Tuck it away in that corner of your mind where fond memories live. It’s still there, waiting for you to pull it out one day and “remember when.”

Then fill your focus with a new dream, one that is attainable but that stretches you; a dream that both fits with your current circumstances, but also forces you to look to the future.

When people retire from a life-long career, they don’t dismiss that career and pretend it never existed. Instead they talk about that career with fondness while pursuing new goals and aspirations.

That’s the approach we can take with our “retired” dreams. Give them their due, but let the new dreams take center stage.

I would love to hear your thoughts on this process of retiring dreams. Please post a comment. And, Julie, hope that helps!

For weeks I’ve been intending to update my blog. One of my goals for 2009 was to give this blog more attention, partly for my own interests and partly as a way to showcase my writing. OK, back on the saddle!

One of my challenges has been getting a handle on my schedule. When you work from home, particularly with a 1-year-old and two dogs constantly underfoot, life can become a time management nightmare. Most days I’m up at 5:30 a.m. and finally collapse about 9:30 or 10 at night. I’ve been trying to squeeze in full-time childcare, freelance work, exercise and some personal writing projects into my day – not to mention laundry, vacuuming, dog brushing, grocery shopping and, well, you get the picture.

My plight is certainly not unique. Countless parents juggle work and family, but I find working from home brings a whole new set of challenges. When I worked in an office, I devoted eight or more hours a day to work and then dealt with home life when I was home. Now, the lines are somewhat blurred – making phone calls, changing diapers, folding laundry, running to meetings, checking e-mail, filling a sippy cup.

Fortunately, my freelance work as writer/editor and PR professional with a local firm has been gaining momentum. More work is coming my way, and I am definitely not complaining. But over the last few weeks, I’ve simply been reacting to the task that’s screaming loudest – whether that’s deadline or daughter.

So, this week, I’ve embarked on some efforts to bring more order – and I hope more productivity – to my life. After talking with my husband, we decided to divide up some additional household tasks. For example, three days a week Clint is responsible for dinner and three days a week I am. Another three days a week, Clint gives Katherine her bath and gets her ready for bed; I do it the rest of the week. I’ve also asked Clint to give Katherine her breakfast one morning a week, so I can wrap up work or just get a quick shower.

I’m also working to create a realistic to-do list for each day. I’ll take the half dozen or so items that are high priority and then tackle those in order of importance. My ultimate goal is to assign a time to everything I do, such as 5:30-6:15 a.m. Pilates; 6:15-6:45 a.m. shower and dress; 6:45-7:15 a.m. e-mail; 7:15-9:30 a.m. take care of Katherine and so on, assigning out day. My hope is if everything has a place on my calendar, it will make it tough to overlook and keep me from being distracted.

Of course, the best-laid plans can go array … Gotta run, someone is screaming.

Lately I’ve been finding myself with a case of the “what ifs.” That’s not to say I’m regretting my choices – well, maybe a couple here and there – yet I can’t help but wonder what might have happened if I’d done this, gone here, worked there or avoided that.

I blame Facebook. I reconnected with someone whose job description is just what I always wanted to do. I also have several college friends on Facebook and it reminds me of my days as a journalism student at Ohio University with dreams as big as the sky and a passion for a life I knew was going to be filled with absolute greatness.

The silly ideas of a 22-year-old young woman? Maybe. But what good is a life without those big, all-consuming dreams? It gives you something to work toward, even if the big dream becomes a little dream or even if the big dream becomes, well, just a dream.

I’ve written before about how I struggle with putting my faith in God’s dreams and taking my “planner personality” out of the equation. I don’t think God wants us to stop dreaming, but we do need to align our dreams with his will, which can be challenging at times.

I think it just might be time to retire some old dreams. I can’t change the past and might not even want to if I could. It’s quite possible the time has come to generate some new dreams.

This morning when I got up, I wondered if Barack Obama slept well last night. Did he wake up with butterflies in his stomach? OK, admittedly not very deep thoughts, but you have to wonder if he’s a nervous wreck. I think I would be.

Regardless of your political beliefs, it’s a big day. The world is abuzz with “change.” It’s almost as if we expect an entirely different country tomorrow. Barack Obama has his work cut out for him. He faces significant issues, particularly here at home, and I don’t envy him.

I don’t recall this much hype when George W. Bush was sworn in as president. Some of it is Obama’s status as the first black president in a country that continues to face racial divides and tensions. Some of it is the country’s deep desire for a president who will lead us in the right direction. So many have been disappointed in Bush’s policies and leadership.

Right now, I’m listening to CNN on my computer (which, by the way, has a very cool interactive feature with Facebook). I hope we can join together as a country and put our support behind the new 44th president. This could be a real time for unity and Obama needs our prayers.

Like millions of TV viewers, I have been drawn to the TLC program “Jon and Kate Plus 8.” In case you’ve haven’t seen the show (most likely you’ve been living in a cave), it’s about a Pennsylvania family with eight children – twins and sextuplets.

The show follows the family on its journey of life with 10 people in a household. I’ve enjoyed watching it for two main reasons: it’s comforting and it’s realistic. I take comfort in the fact I don’t have eight children. I take comfort in the fact that if this couple can survive with eight children, surely I can survive with one. The family seems real – Jon and Kate squabble and fight. They aren’t always all smiles, but they seem to really love each other and try to do the best they can as parents. Read more about the family here.

The show has its share of critics and people who think Jon and Kate Gosselin have exploited their children for financial profit. I think they’ve been able to give their kids some perks in life they normally would not have been able to afford or coordinate.

Earlier this year, Kate Gosselin published a book titled “Multiple Blessings,” which chronicles the family’s story and includes more about their faith and Christianity than TLC chooses to include in the TV show. (Photo: Kate Gosselin signs copies of “Multiple Blessings.”)

Last night I had the chance to hear Kate speak at my church, Seacoast in Mount Pleasant. The event was sold out and the place was packed with hundreds of women eager to hear from this mega-mom.

At the “Coffee with Kate” event, Kate Gosselin explained how she and Jon were Christians, but how early in their marriage and when their twin girls were small, life was good and they weren’t really relying on or consulting God. (Gee, haven’t we all been there. We’re cruising along, soaking up the blessings and, well, God is in there somewhere.)

But when life tosses us a curve ball, suddenly we run to God, giving him our full attention. Kate talked about how much she and Jon turned to God when they found out they were expecting not one or two, but six babies.

I can relate to Kate, who is Type A all the way and has a strong desire to plan and control her life. Suddenly, she had no control. She turned her worries over to God and accepted the fact this was his plan for her.

I took comfort in the fact she says it took more than two years before she completely came to terms with their child-filled life. My daughter is almost a year old, and I still have trouble accepting my life as a parent and my role as a mother.

Logically, we know life works better when we turn to God. Yet, why is that so hard for us to do? And better yet why is it so hard to do when life is going well? For some reason, we seem to think we know better. We want what we want how we want it and when we want it. I pray I begin to want what God wants how he wants it and when he wants it for me.

Thanks, Kate Gosselin, for sharing your story and for setting an example that God always provides and that he loves us enough to craft the perfect plan.

Kate shared this verse and how, even though she’d know this verse since she was a child, it really hit home when she was pregnant for sextuplets:

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge him and he will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6 (NIV)

I thought I might have noticed it several weeks ago. No, couldn’t be. It was the lighting in the bathroom. Yes, had to be the lighting in the bathroom.

I noticed it again. I just need a color touch up. It’s just a very light-colored hair, that’s all, just a very light hair.

I look again a few days later – in a different bathroom mirror. I feel sort of ill.

It’s a gray hair. Actually, it’s a couple – or maybe even more than a couple – gray hairs. I mention it to my husband, who admits he noticed them some time ago and graciously kept his mouth shut. Smart man. Although, he has a couple of these ill-gotten hairs himself, so can’t really criticize.

After the events of the last 12 months or so, I can’t say I’m surprised to see some gray hairs popping up. I feel I’ve aged a decade. But I really wasn’t expecting to see these tiny harbingers of old age for at least another 15 years.

On the bright side, we live in the modern times of hair color. I will have this little problem taken care of at the end of the month and every few months thereafter.

We will never speak of it again.

Most days I don’t watch The Oprah Winfrey Show, but yesterday I was interested in the episode because it featured Oprah discussing her battle with weight. I’d read a piece she’d written for O magazine about how she had gained 40 pounds and was so disappointed she was still talking about her weight. (You can read more about it here.)

I appreciated her candor in discussing her battle with weight, her struggles with emotional eating, self-esteem and how she’d completely taken herself off her own to-do list.

A publicity stunt? Well, I suppose some cynical folks might say that. But I can’t imagine many women who would want to share how much they weigh, how they feel about themselves and what sizes they have in their closet with a national audience. So, I give Oprah credit for addressing an issue that thousands of women face daily. Who hasn’t made a commitment to start exercising and then skipped a few too many gym sessions? Who hasn’t committed to making more time for yourself and then found you had no time for anything you wanted to do?

While I might not always agree with all of Oprah’s beliefs, I admire her for all she’s done, her charity and her ability to rise from humble beginnings to make something of herself. She’s one of the few celebrities I’d really like to meet.

“Falling off the wagon,” as Oprah puts it, happens to all of us. I’m just glad People magazine isn’t there to document it.

It seems at the end of each year, I pause and wonder just where the year went. They always seem to disappear so quickly. I feel that way again this year, but am actually relieved to bid farewell to 2008.

This year has been challenging to say the least. I think back a year ago and can hardly wrap my mind around all that has changed. This time last year I was hugely pregnant and we were excited about our baby girl who was to be born in early February.

We were blessed on Feb. 2 with a beautiful, healthy daughter. We are happy to have her in our lives, but the adjustment to parenthood was harder than I ever could have imagined.

I returned to work full time in April and was learning to juggle work and family on a new level. But I was happy to be working as so much of who I am has been wrapped up in my career. Even after having a baby, I knew I couldn’t turn my back on my work.

So, my layoff in October and the resulting life changes rattled me in a way I’m not sure anyone could understand.

It’s been a tough year and I’m ready to move past it. The year 2008 will always be special because of Katherine, but it is not exactly a year I would be eager to repeat.

I pray for a better 2009 and a wise spirit that can look back on these challenges, learn and grow from them and move to a new level of greatness.