On Tuesday, I picked out two sympathy cards.
You read that right: Two.
One for each wife who had lost her husband on Monday. Both were precious friends.
I met Tom years ago when I was serving on the national board of directors for the Society of Professional Journalist. I traveled around the South in my role as regional director, meeting fellow journalists along the way. Tom and his wife Lorraine became dear friends, even hosting me at their home in Atlanta. They were accomplished and dedicated journalists. Several years ago they retired to North Carolina but we stayed in touch.
Our friend Andy lost his fight with pancreatic cancer. At age 51, his life was cut short much too soon. Andy’s wife Audra moved to Charleston more than a decade ago. Through a mutual friend she ended up staying in my guest room for a few weeks as she got settled. At the time, Kate was 2 years old, and Clint was working in Africa for 11 months. Audra was a gift from God as I struggled to work, chase after a toddler, recover from postpartum depression — all while missing my husband desperately.
Andy joined Audra in Charleston a few weeks later. He quickly became Uncle Andy to Kate. The two of them were family.
So, I’m coming into the last week of the year with a heavy heart. But, then, let’s be real. This whole year has had a heaviness to it.
These losses came at the end of year of so many losses. We all lost in 2020. Lives were lost to COVID — certainly the greatest of all losses. Others lost businesses, jobs, income. Clint and I closed up our CrossFit gym so we understand that loss.
Celebrations, milestone moments and bucket list trips — lost to a virus that gripped our world. Our nation faced political tension, racial divide and social unrest — a loss of unity and hope.
It’s tempting to bid 2020 a big, fat farewell. It was the year that overstayed its welcome.
Among the loss, grief, stress and plain old exhaustion of this year, can we dig some good from the rubble?
I’ve decided 2021 will be a rebuilding year. You know, like sports teams have when they get a new coach. They don’t expect a lot from that year. They use it as an opportunity to renew their focus, get their heads on straight and train for what will surely be a monumental next season. I think we need to rebuild and regroup after the losing season of 2020.
This year I read the book “Chasing Vines” by Beth Moore. One of the lines from the book is “Your growing comes in shrinking.” For me, 2020 was a year of “shrinking.” It was a year of stepping away and figuring out how I should spend my time and energy. It opened my eyes to the importance of rest, narrowing my focus and deepening my faith.
So much of our lives shrunk in 2020. That’s not exactly a bad thing. Remember, out of our shrinking comes future growth. We shrink, we rebuild, and we approach the next season with a winning attitude.
That is my hope and prayer.
Yes, we should mourn the losses of 2020 — a business, precious friends, anticipated events. Feel the grief. Shed the tears.
And then step into 2021 ready to rebuild.