Random Thoughts – Holly Ann Fisher

March 11, 2021March 11, 2021

Some of us are born fun. Some of us aren’t.

My daughter asked me, “Do you do anything for fun?”

I tossed the question back at her, “What do you think I do for fun?” Honestly, I was curious as to what she might say.

She paused … “Drink coffee?”

Well, she’s not wrong. I do love my coffee.

And that prompted us to talk about the idea of “fun.” Most of the things I described as fun are more like work in disguise: CrossFit, cooking, writing, reading, driving my Challenger. I admitted to her that I’m not particularly good at having fun. It’s not that I never have fun or I don’t know how to have fun, but I’m not sure “fun-loving” would be how I would describe myself.

Interestingly, this whole idea came up just a few weeks ago during a She Works HIS Way class on “Emptying Yourself vs. Living on Empty” with Michelle Myers. During the class, Michelle admitted she’s not very good at having fun. The chat box lit up with other women who admitted fun was hard.

I’m not sure I’d ever said, “I’m not good at having fun.” But as soon as Michelle said those words, I exclaimed, “Me too!”

It was freeing to admit that to myself and to hear others have a similar struggle. But then it kinda bugged me. Why can’t I have fun? Why did my own daughter have to ask if I do anything fun? Why were my hobbies masquerading as productive tasks?

My initial thought is that I’m a task-oriented person. I always have been. Give me a to-do list. Give me a deadline. Being productive IS fun.

I wanted a more scientific answer so I turned to Google. I typed “why some people struggle to have fun” into the search bar. The first result was a 2011 blog post by a Dr. Michelle Cleer titled “Why Is It So Hard to Just Have Fun?” Dr. Cleer theorized our lack of fun is because we’re bombarded with negativity. We beat ourselves up and neglect to the see the positives in our life

True enough. But I was looking for something that was more rooted in our personalities. Was I born to be wild or not?

Other articles referenced depression or offered tips for how to not be boring.

I tried another search: “is fun a personality trait.”

This article at Well + Good references a research study pointing to five traits that tend to make a person “fun.” They are: extraversion, open-mindedness, humor production, humor perception, and creativity,

The researcher also is quoted as saying, “Creative people have been found to be high in emotional intelligence, which is a key factor in social relationships.”

Hmmm. I consider myself a pretty creative person. So where’s my fun factor?

Well, let’s circle back to the idea of personality. On the Enneagram, I’m a No. 1 — Strict Perfectionist. If you know me, you’re not surprised by this. E1s are all about improvement and making sure things are done correctly. We like to organize the world and value facts, precision and clarity. And, you’d better believe, we work hard to avoid mistakes.

I’m not sure that sounds especially “fun.”

On the Strengths Finders test, my strengths are things like responsibility (read: dependable), maximizer (excellence is my measure) and intellection (mental activity). Intellection is my favorite. It means I enjoy time alone and introspective. The description reads, “You’re your own best companion as you pose yourself questions and try out answers on yourself to see how they sound.”

Me, myself and I can have plenty of fun together!

Maybe there’s no exact answer to the question, “Why is it hard to have fun?” It’s likely an innate part of my personality fueled by my upbringing, which pretty much describes most of our traits, right?

Let’s face it, I’ll never be the life of the party. That’s OK. It’s not who I am. But, I am thinking about how I might infuse a little more fun into my life. You know, like exercise more.

January 1, 2021January 1, 2021

Happy highlights from a hard year

Welcome, 2021! Has a new year ever received such global fanfare? We thought we were excited about 2020 and then …

I don’t want to gloss over the challenges of the last year. We all faced tough times — some certainly more significant and life-altering than others. Even with what my own family went through, we came out of 2020 relatively unscathed and, for that, I am grateful.

And I’d be remiss if I didn’t call out some of the simple pleasures, moments of growth and silver linings that bubbled up from the last several months. It’s tempting to rush out of 2020 and into 2021, declaring we will never look back at that year. But how can we not? It was a year that tested us. It was also a year that taught us. Or at least it taught me a thing or two.

So, I share with you my 2020 highlights. Here’s my top 10 list (in random order):

Family Time. If you felt like your family was scurrying in a million different directions, 2020 put a stop to that. Suddenly, we were home. And home … and home. Our forced togetherness allowed us the chance to enjoy each other’s company. As stay-at-home orders stretched from a couple weeks into a couple months, our family embraced evening walks through the neighborhood (quarantine walks), hanging out on the back porch with “porch snacks” of cheese and crackers as well as Friday movie nights (so many 1980s classics!). The unrushed pace opened up time to talk, hang out and just be together.

The Memes. OK, let’s be real: those quarantine memes were the laugh break we all needed. Some of them were seriously LOL worthy.

Reading. I’ve always been a reader, but my 2019 schedule in particular hadn’t given me much time for reading. Behold: 2020. I read 28 books. (My goal for 2021: 36 books. Totally doable!) Bonus: I also finished reading the entire Bible in 2020. I started one of those “read the Bible in a year” plans at the beginning of 2018. Sure, it took me 2 ½ years, but I did it!

Active With Holly. One of things I missed after closing our CrossFit gym was the chance to inspire others to live a healthy and active life. In September, I decided to become an independent rep for Zyia Active, a line of activewear for women, men and kids. I created a Facebook Group and Instagram account under @ActivewithHolly where I could talk about new Zyia products but also share healthy recipes, meal planning tips, fitness info and general inspiration for active and healthy living.

Work. Fortunately, much of my business was virtual pre-COVID and I already worked at home. I’m grateful marketing clients kept rolling in and I was able to forge new professional partnerships with fellow StoryBrand Guides. I even had time to rebrand Fisher Creative with a new logo and website refresh. I increased my social media presence and was able to do a few virtual speaking gigs and podcast interviews.

Rest + Recharge. I’ve never been that great at resting. I’m a doer so too much rest time feels wasteful. But I also know we need rest. We need time to relax, recharge and simply do nothing. I began to embrace rest in 2020. I wouldn’t say 100% there quite yet, but I have made great strides.

Health. I’ve always been grateful for good health, but this year in particular, I appreciated being healthy.

Faith. What could we do in 2020 but put our trust in Jesus. It was tough not to worry. I remember watching the evening news in March and April, thinking, “We’re all going to die.” But I dug deep this year. I read God’s word. I prayed. I wrote in my prayer journal. And I believe my faith was strengthened.

Husband. In July, Clint and I celebrated our 20th anniversary. We canceled our trip to Asheville, N.C., as COVID cases spiked in mid-July. But that didn’t stop us from marking the day and reflecting on the past two decades. Bonus: We made it to Asheville in November for a mini-vacation. (Side note: we have spent a lot of time together in the last few months and haven’t killed each other!)

Technology. Can you imagine quarantining in 1993? I am grateful for technology that allowed us to work and school from home as well as stay connected to friends and family. The virtual coffees with friends and colleagues were truly life giving.

That’s my 2020 highlight reel. What glimmers of goodness did you uncover?

December 31, 2020December 31, 2020

Moving past the loss of 2020 and into a rebuilding year

On Tuesday, I picked out two sympathy cards.

You read that right: Two.

One for each wife who had lost her husband on Monday. Both were precious friends.

I met Tom years ago when I was serving on the national board of directors for the Society of Professional Journalist. I traveled around the South in my role as regional director, meeting fellow journalists along the way. Tom and his wife Lorraine became dear friends, even hosting me at their home in Atlanta. They were accomplished and dedicated journalists. Several years ago they retired to North Carolina but we stayed in touch.

Our friend Andy lost his fight with pancreatic cancer. At age 51, his life was cut short much too soon. Andy’s wife Audra moved to Charleston more than a decade ago. Through a mutual friend she ended up staying in my guest room for a few weeks as she got settled. At the time, Kate was 2 years old, and Clint was working in Africa for 11 months. Audra was a gift from God as I struggled to work, chase after a toddler, recover from postpartum depression — all while missing my husband desperately.

Andy joined Audra in Charleston a few weeks later. He quickly became Uncle Andy to Kate. The two of them were family.

So, I’m coming into the last week of the year with a heavy heart. But, then, let’s be real. This whole year has had a heaviness to it.

These losses came at the end of year of so many losses. We all lost in 2020. Lives were lost to COVID — certainly the greatest of all losses. Others lost businesses, jobs, income. Clint and I closed up our CrossFit gym so we understand that loss.

Celebrations, milestone moments and bucket list trips — lost to a virus that gripped our world. Our nation faced political tension, racial divide and social unrest — a loss of unity and hope.

It’s tempting to bid 2020 a big, fat farewell. It was the year that overstayed its welcome.

Among the loss, grief, stress and plain old exhaustion of this year, can we dig some good from the rubble?

This made the rounds on social media and really resonated with me.

I’ve decided 2021 will be a rebuilding year. You know, like sports teams have when they get a new coach. They don’t expect a lot from that year. They use it as an opportunity to renew their focus, get their heads on straight and train for what will surely be a monumental next season. I think we need to rebuild and regroup after the losing season of 2020.

This year I read the book “Chasing Vines” by Beth Moo re. One of the lines from the book is “Your growing comes in shrinking.” For me, 2020 was a year of “shrinking.” It was a year of stepping away and figuring out how I should spend my time and energy. It opened my eyes to the importance of rest, narrowing my focus and deepening my faith.

So much of our lives shrunk in 2020. That’s not exactly a bad thing. Remember, out of our shrinking comes future growth. We shrink, we rebuild, and we approach the next season with a winning attitude.

That is my hope and prayer.

Yes, we should mourn the losses of 2020 — a business, precious friends, anticipated events. Feel the grief. Shed the tears.

And then step into 2021 ready to rebuild.

May 7, 2020December 31, 2020

What if we didn’t return to ‘normal’?

When the intensity of the coronavirus hit in mid-March, I was – like everyone – consumed with questions. Was I truly at risk? How bad was this really? How long would this last?

Then came the closures and cancellations. No in-person school. Client fundraisers and community events canceled or postponed. Networking events scratched from the calendar. Coffee dates and social events put on hold.

I’ll be honest, clearing my calendar down to well, practically nothing, was freeing. I tend to live at warp speed, flying so fast through my life that days are often little more than a blurry mess. I like being busy, but there’s busy and then there’s BUSY. Despite my best efforts to figure out better ways to build in rest, more family time and a few minutes each week to catch my breath, I wasn’t successful. I had vowed that 2020 would be different. It would be different all right.

I hit “delete, delete, delete” on appointments, meetings, networking and educational events. My commute time to and from activities, taking my daughter to and from school, driving to and from our CrossFit gym was no longer an issue.

The first weekend of this quarantine time was the most restful weekend I’d had in, well, years. In the weekends to follow, I cleaned out some closets and drawers. We had Friday night pizza and watched “quarantine classic” movies like “Karate Kid” and the “Back to the Future” trilogy. We’ve taken family walks in the afternoon. Kate and I watched Hallmark mystery movies (our favorite) and chatted on the back porch. I even did a long overdue photo book from a family vacation to Yellowstone back in 2018. I was tackling my stack of books to read.

I wasn’t ending each week stressed about all the tasks I hadn’t checked off my list. I didn’t feel pressured to spend hours working on Saturday or Sunday.

What was this? Aside from missing my friends, favorite springtime activities, a haircut and a leisurely trip to Target, maybe this quarantine life wasn’t so bad. I could get used to this.

In fact, I’m writing this blog post while sitting on my back porch with a cup of coffee. I hadn’t carved out time for personal writing in eons.

As we approach the end of April, our state and our country look at ways to open businesses and relax stay-at-home restrictions. Everyone is talking about “getting back to normal.”

But what if I don’t want to go back to “normal”?

I’ve tasted a more relaxed lifestyle and I’m hooked. Jump back on that relentless hamster wheel? Hard pass.

Now, I’m not saying we don’t need to restart the economy. My family owns a fitness facility that’s been closed since mid-March. I don’t take lightly the incredible impact this has had on businesses, especially our small, local businesses. I don’t minimize the lives lost or the health care workers putting themselves in harm’s way each day.

Even as we resume economic activity, what if we took some personal lessons from this experience?

Within the first couple weeks of staying at home, I was already thinking about how my life could be different. In early April, a webinar hosted by She Works HIS Way addressed this very topic. Somer Phoebus challenged us to “quarantine clarity” and to consider how we might use this experience as a learning opportunity.

She shared this verse from 1 Thessalonians 4:11-12

Make it your ambition to lead a quiet life, to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody. (NIV)

This doesn’t mean we simply Netflix and chill 24/7, but that we use our time well and wisely, Somer said. We should focus on what we were created to do, instead of rushing to complicate our lives with more and more and more.

She cautioned us not to let this opportunity pass us by. Don’t go back to the craziness.

Anyone else out there guilty of packing their schedules too tightly? Anyone else trying to do too much? Yep, me too.

I’m a doer. I’m an achiever. I don’t always rest well. If you have a similar personality, it doesn’t mean we aren’t capable of a less complicated life. It just means we have to be more intentional with our time and how we spend it. We doers are quick to say “yes.” We hustle. We strive.

There’s nothing wrong with hard work or striving to be better. But at what cost?

Rest doesn’t mean you’re lazy. Rest isn’t a sign of weakness. Jesus took time to rest and, my goodness, I don’t think we would ever consider him lazy or weak.

The last few weeks have been filled with moments of uncertainty, stress and worry. We’ve all felt it. But this time also has been filled with reflection. I’ve soaked up extra quiet time in the mornings, reading my Bible and journaling.

As we move into a life outside the four walls of our home, may we not slide back into old habits. I pray the positive changes in our personal and family lives and our schedules stick.

Let my ambition be to lead a quiet life, one lived with intention and focus on what my main purpose. As for the rest? I think I’ll put those old ways into permanent quarantine.

June 30, 2016

Go ahead, say ‘yes!’

There’s something about turning 40 that makes you say, “Why not? Life’s short!” That’s why I decided this would be the year of “yes.” I was going to say “yes” to experiences and opportunities I may have said “maybe” or “no” to in the past.

Earlier this year, Garth Brooks came to town and I said “yes” to immediately buying tickets. There was no pause to consider the cost or the timing. I haven’t been able to attend SPJ’s Excellence in Journalism conference for a few years so, guess what, I’m signed up to attend in September.

The Dixie Chicks announce a U.S. tour, and I immediately get in touch my friend Ronda about when we can go. We traveled to Nashville 10 years ago for a Dixie Chicks concert, and I wasn’t passing up a chance to see a favorite band again. So in August, I drive to Ronda’s home near Orlando, and we hit the road for the concert in Tampa. No hesitation about the expensive tickets. No worrying about taking a couple days off work. It was just “yes, we are doing this!”

My latest “yes” comes in an amazing shade of orange fully loaded with a Hemi and black racing stripes.

I’ve been drooling over the Dodge Challenger for probably three years. As my current Jeep Liberty approached 10 years old, it was time to start thinking about a new car. So Clint and I began putting aside some savings. When he suggested to go look at Challengers, I almost hesitated. Was it utterly ridiculous and impractical for a 40-year-old wife and mom to buy a muscle car?

Probably.

But this is the year of “yes” so at the end of May – just a couple weeks after my 40^th birthday – I sat in the Dodge dealership placing the order for my dream car in a newly released paint color called “Go Mango.” (Pretty sure, I’m the first person in Charleston with this color.)

She arrived this week and is as awesome as you might expect. In fact, I may have left people in my dust at a couple stoplights.

Sometimes it’s tough to say “yes” to these things that seem frivolous. But when we take a step back, we realize there’s nothing wrong with treating ourselves to things that bring a smile to our face. Whether it’s a girls’ road trip to enjoy a concert or buying a sports car, it’s OK to say “yes.”

And if someone wants to drag race down the highway, well, I just might say “yes” to that too! 😉

(P.S. My CrossFit friends will appreciate that I named the new car Fran in honor of a classic CrossFit workout. Seemed fitting for a muscle car.)

January 8, 2016

20 years of improving, protecting journalism

Just after Christmas I received a package in the mail from the Society of Professional Journalists. I opened it up and found this:

A 20-year member pin.

I honestly wasn’t sure whether to be proud or dismayed. I joined SPJ as a sophomore at Ohio University, so I’ve essentially been a SPJ member for half my life. The letter accompanying the pin reminded me of what was happening way back in 1995 when I joined: The New York Times and Washington Post published the Unibomber’s 35,000-word manifesto, Ebay launched and the DVD came into existence.

“Geez, I’m old,” I thought.

The pin arrived in the mail the day after I’d been to the see the movie “Spotlight,” the story of a team of Boston Globe reporters who uncovered the massive child sexual abuse cover up in the Catholic Church. The movie was excellent and a reminder about why journalists do what they do. It’s certainly not for the paycheck or the 40-hour workweeks. It’s for the chance to make a difference.

I thought back to my 19-year-old self taking the SPJ oath, thrilled to be joining an organization dedicated to lofty pursuits like First Amendment rights, ethical journalism and freedom of information. I couldn’t wait to begin my career as a newspaper reporter, telling stories and righting wrongs.

After I graduated, I spent the next decade conducting interviews, recounting stories and maybe even righting a few wrongs along the way. I remained an active SPJ member, even serving six years as a regional director on the national board. During that same decade, the newspaper business went through an incredible shift as the Internet grew and competition for readers and advertisers became more challenging. The economic crash of 2008 rocked my world – along with many of my colleagues and SPJ friends around the country.

Suddenly, I was a laid-off reporter – a far cry from the life that 19-year-old idealistic young woman had envisioned for herself.

Life goes on, right? It does. But that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It’s hard to have your identity snatched away. It’s sad to see the career you’d planned for yourself vanish in mere minutes. Like countless other journalists during that time, I forged out a new path for myself.

In November 2011, when I launched H.A.F. Creative, it was largely so I could do more freelance writing. Even though I use my writing skills in a variety of ways that I truly enjoy (marketing, public relations, copywriting, blogging), I desperately need to stay connected to journalism. Fortunately, I’ve been able to, I hope, make a difference by sharing the stories of leaders, parents, businesses and organizations in our local community. Even though I no longer work in a newsroom on a daily basis, I am just as passionate about a free press and its watchdog role in our society.

So, here’s to you, SPJ, for reminding me of a time when Ebay and DVDs were new and so was my calling to something so much greater.

November 25, 2015

A month of giving thanks

Over the last couple of years I’ve seen people on social media engage in month-long expressions of gratitude during November. It seemed a lovely way to approach Thanksgiving and the Christmas season – pausing daily to reflect on our many blessings.

Clint and Kate 11.22.15 — Celebrating Clint’s birthday with dinner out.

So this year I decided to be part of #30daysofgratitude. So far, I’ve only missed a handful of days (not because I wasn’t thankful that day but just forgot to post!). Plus, I tried to go beyond the basics. Of course, I’m thankful daily for food, clothing and a roof over my head. I’m thankful for my health, my family and a job I enjoy. Those seem obvious expressions of gratitude, and I wanted my November social media campaign to be truly unique to me and my life.

I started the month grateful for my business, which marked its fourth anniversary on Nov. 1. To celebrate, I launched my new company website (which I’d been chipping away at for months). The month continued with gratitude shout outs to H.A.F. Creative clients, my Sisterhood small group at church, my fellow volunteers at Postpartum Support Charleston, supportive grandparents, my husband on his birthday, my daughter in her Girl Scout uniform and simple things like books and coffee.

You can check out my posts on Instagram (@hollyannfisher).

Moms Night Out — Postpartum Support Charleston event

This was such a fun exercise. It really got me thinking everyday about what to highlight. And it’s a reminder that even on hectic, crazy days where it seems nothing is going right, there is indeed a moment for which we can pause and give thanks. I think I’ve started a new November tradition. In fact, I’ll try to keep the practice going year round.

Even though I might not post daily on Instagram, Twitter or Facebook, I can tuck away those little moments – my daughter’s smile, my husband’s laugh, a hot cup of coffee – and let my heart fill with gratitude.

May 3, 2013December 31, 2020

A birthday reflection

I have officially reached the age where I have to pause and really think about how old I am. (Hope I’m not the only one who does this.) Since becoming sandwiched between 35 and 40, all the birthdays just sort of run together in a blur of “late 30s” sliding (sometimes a little too quickly) to 40. Plus, in my head, I’m only 25 so that also confuses the situation.

Over the last two to three years, May 3 has given me a gift of happiness and a sense of accomplishment. “Hey, I’ve done pretty well for myself,” I think. Then, I pause to tick off my successes – both personal and professional – and feel like I haven’t left too much on the table.

And then May 3 hands me her second gift. It’s small but heavy – a sense that there’s still so much to do. I haven’t yet been to Yellowstone National Park, Wyoming and Maine. I haven’t traveled to Spain or Paris. I still need to get an article published in O magazine. Aren’t birthdays the perfect time to root around in your bucket list, trying to find one exciting – and yet reasonable – goal for the coming year?

So today I’ll think about what’s to come but mostly I’ll pause for a long grateful moment and think about my incredible husband, daughter and family, my two sweet dogs, my stellar group of friends, the fact I’m in the best shape of my life (thanks, CrossFit), a successful businesses and a Lord who loves me.

And that’s not too shabby for a woman who just turned … wait, how old am I? Well, let’s just say I’m in my late 30s.

January 19, 2013

In a word: strength

chain_Ulrik De Wachter — Photo/Ulrik De Wachter

In the blogging world especially everyone is picking a word of the year. So, in an effort to be trendy, I’m picking one too. Just kidding … I really like the concept, the idea that I can find a word to encompass where I am in my life and where I want to be over the next 12 months.

After mulling over some great words like grow, dream and peace, I have settled on my word for 2013: strength. For me this word captured essentially all the areas of my life and works for the dreams I have in the coming year.

Here’s how I’ll be channeling the word “strength:”

Professionally, I’ll continue to grow and strengthen my business. HAF Creative had a terrific 2012, and I’m confident it will only grow stronger this year as I develop more client relationships, take on new projects and assignments and strengthen my place in life as a business owner and entrepreneur.
Personally, I’ll keep my marriage solid. This summer, Clint and I celebrate 13 years together and there are things we’ll continue to do to keep our marriage strong (hoping one of those includes a trip to the mountains this fall just the two of us). As a mother, I need to not only be strong for my daughter but also to raise a strong daughter. I firmly believe in helping your child – especially a girl – grasp the concept early in life that she can be and do anything she wants.
Spiritually, I felt my faith and walk with God strengthen and develop last year. But I’m nowhere near perfect and will work to make stronger my relationship with God so that it isn’t rocked by problems or the challenges life throws my way.
Physically, I long to become stronger. Since I started CrossFit two and half years ago, I have transformed my body into something more solid and less squishy. But I need to be stronger. I want to get 100 pounds over my head, squat with more than 65 pounds and do 10 pull-ups at a time (I’m at four or five!).

I felt as if last year I finally recovered from some significant challenges that started in 2008. It may have taken four years, but I made it to a place where I felt good about my life again. That comes from not only being strong in all the areas outlined above but also believing in that strength and where it can take you. So, look out, 2013, because I’m coming on strong!

December 31, 2012

Reflecting on the past year

I tend to approach the end of one year and the launch of another with mixed feelings. There’s the excitement of a new year filled with opportunities, experiences and successes. There’s the bittersweet feeling that another year has passed and maybe I missed out on some key piece of the last 12 months.

But overall, when I reflect on 2012, I feel blessed. My business exploded. My relationship with God was strengthened. My marriage is solid. My daughter is brilliant (of course!). I noticed a few more gray hairs and stressed (probably too much) over work that needed to be done. I drank a lot of coffee. I’m sure I didn’t take enough time for myself or simply to enjoy life (do we ever?). I lost a precious family member and yet rejoiced knowing he’s in heaven.

And that is life – a mixture of blessing and burden, a cocktail of joy and sorrow, a blend of beautiful and brave. I enter a new year with thanksgiving in my heart and a resolve to embrace my season of life, seize opportunities and live as a blessing to those around me. For if I can achieve that in 2013, I will deem the year a success. ….Well, that and master the 65-pound thruster in CrossFit but that’s for another post.

March 23, 2012

Women are the solution

Women hold up half the sky.

– Chinese saying

Among the grim stories of how women and girls around the world face abuse, discrimination and a life as second-class citizens, there are stories of hope. I left with that message after hearing Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author Nicholas Kristof speak at a luncheon yesterday put on by the Center for Women here in Charleston.

Kristof is the author of “Half The Sky,” a book about how to turn oppression into opportunity for women worldwide. His talk fell in line with Women’s History Month and this year’s theme of education and empowerment for women.

A long-time reporter for The New York Times, Kristof has spent years reporting on foreign countries and many of the atrocities against women. It’s no secret females in China face an uphill battle. Kristof recounted a story from 1990 in which a young girl had to drop out of school in sixth grade, despite being at the top of her class. The $13 in school fees just weren’t a priority for her parents.

Kristof reported on this girl, and NYT readers responded with donations that were used to subsidize school fees for girls in this small Chinese village – provided the girls maintained good grades.

That sixth grade girl went to get an accounting degree and eventually start her own accounting firm. She was able to share the money she made with family members who went on to start businesses as well. The entire village prospered — all because girls were afforded an education.

Those are stories of hope. But for each story like that, there are countless stories, statistics and sadness that represent what Kristof calls “the central moral challenge of the 21st century: the inequitable treatment of women and girls around the world.”

So what is the answer? Education and empowerment. As Kristoff said, “We have to educate girls and bring those women in the work force. Women and girls aren’t the problem but the solution.”

One significant issue facing women around the world — and even here in the United States is sex trafficking. Girls are often kidnapped and forced to work in brothels. In 2004, Kristoff “purchased” two girls from brothels and returned them to their villages. The cost for both girls was about $350. But the price wasn’t even most disturbing to Kristoff, it was that he received a receipt.

“When you get a receipt in the 21st century for buying another human being that should be a disgrace on the entire world,” he said.

It’s hard to even imagine living your life as a piece of property. I’ve certainly never been sold. I’ve never been denied proper medical treatment or an education because I’m a woman. All of us in that room yesterday are fortunate and because of that, we need to do our part to ensure women here at home and around the globe have the same rights, opportunities and chance to fulfill their dreams as we do.

How can you help?

Check out Kristoff’s book “Half the Sky” and his website at www.halftheskymovement.org for resources and ways to get involved.

The website backpage.com regularly has advertisements for young girls who are part of this sex trafficking problem. The site is owned by Village Voice Media and you can put pressure on the company to stop running these ads. Encourage their legitimate advertisers to drop their ads, which hits the company where it hurts most – the bottom line. Also, visit www.Change.org to sign the petition against the Village Voice.

January 19, 2012

The ultimate insult

Remember several years – say 10 or 15 – when it took a lot of effort to stay in touch with people? You had to pick up the phone (a landline at that) and call them. You had to write a note and put it in the mail. You sent a Christmas card (not an e-card but a real envelope with a stamp). But if you lived any distance from folks – and sometimes even if you lived in the same town – it was easy to lose touch as life got busy and time passed.

Fast forward to today where everyone is just an email, text, webchat, LinkedIn message, Google+ hangout, Facebook chat or tweet away. It’s much, much easier to stay connected. In fact, you find yourself connected to people you barely know or maybe don’t even like that much.

But you have to admit it’s great – and easy – for staying up to date on all that goes on in the lives of people you know and care about. So, last week when someone told me about being unfriended on Facebook, it got me thinking about how that one action really demonstrates the power of our connectivity. Had this happened 15 years, it would have gone something like this: fewer phone calls, a missed Christmas or birthday card and eventually this person would have slipped from the other person’s life – not unnoticed but just in a more gradual way. A Facebook unfriending is abrupt and calculated. In this day of technology, it may very well be the ultimate insult.

Have you been unfriended on Facebook? How did it make you feel?

December 6, 2011

From ‘relaxed’ to ‘rushed’

Before they have kids, women described shopping as “relaxed,” “impulsive” and “social.” After having kids, women describe shopping as “rushed,” “stressful” and “overwhelming.” — AdAge.com | 3 November 2011

Um, yes, pretty sure that describes just about every experience before and after having kids, not just shopping.

November 13, 2011

Go boldly

When I launched HAF Creative, my friend and mentor Jane sent me this quote:

“Whatever you do, or dream you can, begin it.
Boldness has genius and power and magic in it.”
~Goethe

November 1, 2011

New opportunities begin today

Today begins a new venture: I’m back to working for myself. Last month, I decided to transition back to full-time freelance work. The reasons were numerous, but high on the list is the ability to better manage my schedule so I can work on the book about postpartum depression I’ve been attempting to write for the better part of 2011. I haven’t had much time to devote to the book, so I haven’t gotten far in the process.

I’m starting to put together a weekly schedule that incorporates regular writing and research times and allow myself to make that work – even though it’s not paying – a priority. I’ll also be doing more freelance writing and editing projects as well as continuing to manage a couple of clients for Step Ahead.

Plus, I’ve decided to officially create my own company, a sole propriotership called HAF Creative. Look for a new website coming soon. I have to schedule some time to open a bank account and get my finances set up. There’s more record keeping when you have your own business (tracking your expenses, making quarterly tax payments) but the personal benefits will be great and the commute is quite short and there’s never any traffic.

I’ll also be moving this blog and past posts over to my new website and keeping it updated more regularly as a way build excitement about the book and share my regular witty musings. Stay tuned!